My most used catch phrase is ‘I don’t know’. why? I don’t know.
I can’t make a decision to save my life, if the question was ‘what do you want to do today?’ I would probably take most of the day to decide what I wanted to do and then realise it is too late and there’s no point of going out anyway.
Now you’re probably thinking ‘well deciding what you want to do can be tricky as you have to take into account weather, who you’re going with, blah, blah, blah’. But this indecisiveness is not just about these types of decisions, it’s stupid things like ‘what should I eat’. This one drives my mum nuts. We’ll be sitting in the restaurant and the smiley waiter/ess would come over, after giving us a sufficient amount of time and asks my dreaded question-‘what would like to order?’.
By this time I would not have made my decision and the look of panic washes over my face. I don’t know why, but I get really anxious and worried about what to say, what should I order, will it be nice. I know its stupid. So after my mum orders, they both turn to look at me, my mum gives me an encouraging look whilst the waiter has their pen poised.
I feel stupid as I look frantically through the menu, I see the worried look on my mums face as she doesn’t like keeping people waiting so she whisks up rapid fire questions to the waiting, very patient, waiter.
Even writing about this, I feel silly because it’s JUST A DECISION! It’s not going to be the be all and end all. You may be thinking what a spoilt brat, can’t make a decision. But it uncontrollable.
I am naturally an anxious person and when faced with a decision my brain seems to fry itself. I don’t know where the habit came from but I am trying hard to stop it as I know it must be annoying to wait for someone to make a decision. (Trust me I feel your pain, my friend walked out of the shop b/c I didn’t know whether to buy a ring).
My mum and I are both getting better, she doesn’t get so panicky and pushy for an answer and I have worked out ways that help me make a decision, a lot quicker than before. I wanted to share this with you guys, in hopes that it may help one of you.
If anyone has the same struggle of deciding what to eat here is what I do. I hope it helps!I give myself 5 minuets to look at the menu, whittle it down to three then pick out of the 3. Remember, you’ll probably be there again soon so next time chose number 2 on the list. If you’re not going to be there again, just think what do you want from the meal (I know this sounds crazy, but seriously I find that it works). For example, if you’re feeling healthy, go for the healthy option. If you want comfort food, go for something like the sausage and sweet potato mash and if you want to go all out, do it! no one is going to judge, get the nachos with salsa, cream and guacamole as a starter and burger and chips and the vanilla ice-cream. It’s ok!
When trying to make a more important decision, I use these tips. Hope they help! 1) BREATH! The more you panic the more you worry and get anxious and get yourself worked up in a tiz. It’s ok to think just think about it logically.
2) try to picture yourself doing both things, for example choosing whether or not to go on a gap year. Try to picture yourself on the gap year, imagine how you would feel, what you are doing, how you are spending your days, how you would feel at the end of the year. Do the same with going on to higher education and try to imagine all these vividly. The one you feel the best in/ most comfortable in is the right decision. I know this sounds crazy but it really works for me. The way you feel about a situation is the best indicator.
3) make a list, sounds obvious, but make a list of pros and cons of doing something. Try to think of everything, feelings, experience etc.
4) Sleeping on a decision (unless, there’s a deadline) I find to be helpful sometimes, as long as I am not too wound up and panicky about the decision. When I say sleep on it, I mean literally sleep on it. Write it down on a piece of paper and put it under your pillow, get ready for bed, watch some Netflix, read a book, talk to a friend about the new makeup launch. Go to sleep, you’ll wake up in the morning with a clearer head and hopefully an answer. If you don’t make that list!
5) Flip a coin. This one is the weirdest but I find the quickest. If you need to make a quick decision this is the one! My boyfriend told me this one and at first I thought ‘FLIP A COIN! I AM NOT FLIPPING A COIN TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO MOVE SCHOOLS FOR SIXTH FORM!’ but it was ok. Whatever it lands on (tails for yes, heads for no) doesn’t make the decision the your initial reaction does. Taking the example of whether or not to move schools I flipped the coin and it landed tails. For a split second you will get the initial reaction and that is what you go with. Most of the time it will be the right one b/c like I said before, your instinctive judgement is the best.
I hope my top 5 tips for making a decision will help you. I understand what it’s like being told ‘It’s not the end of world’ and of course I know it’s not! i’m going to be here tomorrow and the day after (hopefully) whether or not I get lemon or raspberry sorbet! But I also understand the panicky feeling of not knowing what to do or whether or not you’re making the ‘right’ decision.
I am sorry to those who have to put up with us but patience is key and rushing us will just make us bury our heads deeper in the sand.
Thank you so much for reading. (next beauty post is coming soon)